Frustration

I am not good at handling myself when I'm frustrated. Most of the time. But if someone asks me how I'm doing and if I'm frustrated, I'm usually able to explain that I'm frustrated without showing it.

In a number of cases I'm emotionally driven, when it comes to not doing as well or doing better than I expected, or when something doesn't go as planned. I'm prone to losing my temperament, like throwing my arms out, throwing things, just yelling (and possibly cursing) out of my mind. But it happens very easily if things get out of hand.

The last sentence describes what happened to me earlier today when a glass cup fell off of a table. Luckily it didn't break and I noticed it but I picked up the cup and wiped the floor with my feet. Don't try this at home. I got yelled at for not handling it properly and I knew myself that I could have handled it better. But what frustrated me was the way I was yelled at, and it just lit a fire that I didn't want to be lit. It led to the following: Me throwing my cell phone (it's an old version [3s] of iPhone) against a backpack near one of the zippers. Next thing I know my phone screen is completely shattered (although my phone still works, the touchscreen still functions, etc). I'm just completely irate, frustrated, angry, whatever you want to call it. I was then yelled at even more, but what could I do at this point? My phone screen was already shattered, I can't un-shatter it, I can't undo the fact I threw my phone out of frustration, and the person who was yelling at me wasn't understanding that and it frustrated me further. (Me getting yelled at was fair, but) I was able to regain some of my composure when explaining that, but it's a feeling that I never want to have.

Having had multiple experiences like these before this, I knew that I, myself, dwell on a lot of things, and I just simply can't. It's always something I'm working to avoid. I know I have the potential to deal with it well. But I'm not good at it. Having had multiple experiences like these, it's hard to deal with frustration, and some are simply better at it than others. Some people don't ever get frustrated. And when they do, they don't show it. My goal is to aim to be that.